In BIRTHFIT, we use the term “Queen-in-Training” frequently to describe the time period wherein a woman begins stepping into her power. This is the time when a woman transitions from Princess to Queen. A Princess archetype needs to be affirmed and protected; a Queen archetype steps into her true manifested state of being strong, empowered, and fully connected. For many women, like myself, this transition happens during the motherhood transition. Although pregnancy and birth may look vastly different from woman to woman, the commonality is the pivotal point.
My husband and I did not plan our first pregnancy. In fact, we had planned to NOT get pregnant during that time. We were newly married, just finished grad school, and were two months into starting our own business. This was a very scary and emotional time. I cried in the bathroom while showing my husband a positive pregnancy test. He assured me that “This is good! We’ve always wanted kids! You’re meant to be a mom!” I felt anxiety and fear. As we prepared to tell our families, I again found myself emotional, scared, and feeling helpless. I had spent my entire life caring for me, putting my needs first, and living life according to my schedule. At a moment’s notice, this was all taken from me.
As we began to explore birth options, we decided on a home birth. When family and friends asked the questions of, “What if…?” my response was always that, “My body was made to do this.” As I repeated this phrase time and time again, I began to gain a tremendous amount of confidence in my body. The fear I had around the unknowns of birth began to slowly dissipate.
I watched my body change and grow, and for the first time I was starting to love my body, allowing it to be what it was meant to be. Allowing this type of self-love and acceptance was a dramatic mindset shift for me. The negative self-talk was starting to fade and was instead replaced with love and appreciation for my body that was caring for my baby.
My pivotal point was labor and delivery. My body had emotionally and physically reached a point it had never been before. Contractions were stronger than I had imagined, I had no intuitive desire to push, and there was no time clock or set number of rounds until I knew it would be over. I had no control over the situation, so I gave in. I listened to my body and let it take over. After two hours of active labor in the tub, my body told me to get out. I wanted to stay in the water, but my desire to surrender to my body’s innate wisdom was greater. As I stood up out of the tub, I quickly had to reach down and catch my baby. In one fluid movement, he was here.
My son’s birth still remains the most impactful day of my life. I’ve often thought it was selfish to gain and take so much from that day: it should be his day, right? However, I have learned that I would not be the mother I am today without that experience. The confidence and connection within myself that I gained during pregnancy and birth has given me the tools to flow through the ever-evolving motherhood transition.
What was your pivotal point? Every women’s motherhood transition is different and we would love to hear your story in the comments below!
Dr. Morgan Ihrig, DC
BIRTHFIT South Austinwww.instagram.com/birthfitsouthaustin www.birthfitsouthaustin.com
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