BIRTHFIT Podcast Episode 34 Featuring Lindsey Mathews, CEO and Founder
This entire podcast is BIRTHFIT CEO and Founder Lindsey Mathews. We hope you enjoy!
Lindsey: [00:00:02] BIRTHFIT community guys. Girls. Women. Males. Whatever you identify as. And whoever is listening. Thank you for being a part of the BIRTHFIT community. 2018 is slowly transitioning to 2019. And as I record this. I’m sitting in a teepee in Marfa, Texas. And we literally just had the mid-term elections. In which a number of women came out on top. Doesn’t really matter what political party you associate with or don’t associate with, women and their voices need to be heard and I think this is a really cool time or really cool transition in our nation. Our society. This is history. Just kind of let that sink in. I think it’s pretty cool.
But yeah I’m in a big transition for myself in fact the last two years have held some of the biggest lessons of my life. The last two years have been full of laughter, tears, late night celebrations, some wonderful early morning coffee talks, both with humans in real life and on Instagram and many many many human connections. And when I say connection what comes to mind for me is like real life juicy, messy, dirty, pure human connection. These can involve tears and heartbreak. They can involve celebration and love and joy. Support. Vulnerability. Courage. Everything. It’s not surface level for me. It’s deep deep stuff. But Yeah. I am always in awe of my life and how events unfold. And I believe there’s no shortage of magic. And I think at one point in my life I might have lost that faith that hope and magic does exist. But I do believe it’s all around us if we choose to see it. So yeah I’m in the middle of a big unknown beautiful, messy transition. For those of you that follow me on Instagram you might have cued into this, and I’m doing my best to embrace the unknown.
As adults we don’t often get the joys or the mysteries of the unknown. We often times find ourselves in the middle of our schedules or our routines. And those daily expectations that people have on us. You know just to kind of relate this to birth. I believe that’s why birth is often scary. It’s because it is an unknown. It’s uncharted territory no matter if it’s birth number three or birth number one.
You know one of my goals my missions has been to empower and educate women and men. But more so women. I don’t know why. That’s always been it’s been right there for me and I say empower and educate because I didn’t know the specifics. And as life unfolded. Birth became the specific. The mother transition, the mother transformation became this specific. And I wanted these women to show up for that unknown with tools they could use. I knew I didn’t have the answers. Nobody has the answers. Like every birth is different. Every transition is different every obstacle is different and uniquely yours in life. You know I think one of the hardest things for me to teach and show our regional directors are the ones that lead these one of a kind birthing experiences. But I think the hardest thing to teach is holding space and showing up. Just alongside that woman and her family in the unknown. We can’t take the pain away. We can’t fix it. We can’t make it easier or less painful or whatever. I do believe that birth in this case what we’re talking about or conception or postpartum or any part of that motherhood transition that ultimately changes us is exactly what we need and I believe that for any transition that it’s exactly what we need in this moment of life this time in life. You know for me I am definitely on a journey and I don’t know where this journey will take me and yes those are tears but I’m excited and quite terrified. But as I have shared on Scott McGee’s podcast. I have some tools and some experiences in my tool belt and I continue on this quest to better myself every day. To live and show up as this most optimal version of myself. It’s not fucking easy. But yeah that’s the goal…
So yeah I’m on my way to Austin Texas. By the time you listen to this I will probably be there. I will be spending some time there the next year. I don’t know how long maybe months, maybe years, I don’t know. But yeah if you need a DOULA in Austin Texas hit me up. We have some wonderful regional directors in the Austin Texas area. We have BIRTHFIT Austin. We have BIRTHFIT South Austin and they know we have some future leaders coming up in BIRTHFIT. So definitely reach out. BIRTHFIT Austin is on the map. So I wanted to share is a little bit about my journey and where I’m at. I worked closely with some brilliant coaches and spiritual leaders you know and I think everybody should have a coach or a therapist or somebody that they can unload on or that’s going to hold space for them and not judge them but ultimately going to help you grow as a human. You know this is not your best friend or your sister or your mother or your father. Because honestly I’ve maybe seen one. Especially family relationships. I’ve honestly maybe seeing one or two in which there’s just a beautiful space being held by both parties and no judgment but For me it was important to get some outside counsel if you will. And more and more as a leader of this BIRTHFIT movement as the CEO of this BIRTHFIT business I find myself investigating those holes in my game. Or weaknesses that show up. Or areas in which there are still cobwebs and we clean that shit out. We investigate it we get curious with it and it may result in me hiring a specific person or role. Let’s say something in business or hiring somebody that’s going to hold me accountable or talking it through with somebody that’s in my corner that comes from a non judgment space. That will ultimately love me no matter what I choose. So over the past few years I feel I’ve definitely set up my birth team. And maybe my birth team for this rebirth right now. Who knows. But I think all of us have to have that team. That team for our transition. Our big transitions. Our small transitions. Our growth. Our evolution. No and. The people on this team may be there for quite some time or they may only be there for one transition. It’s totally fine. One of my spiritual leaders had me think back to the person I was 12 years ago. And the spiritual leader/Coach is Jen Racioppi and she does a lot of. Guidance along with the lunar cycles. And I started working with her in 2018 and I’ve been following her for quite some time. But it’s pretty frickin rad to me that moons and planets shift and certain planets haven’t lined up. Like they are today like they have in 12 years and 12 ago I moved to California I left Texas. I drove to California. I had very little with me and I was going to chiropractic school. And I had my cat. For those of you that know me also know how much angel is part of my life. Even though she passed in 2017, her presence is so here, so with me. But yeah 12 years ago. I was going to California and I was so curious. Curiosity drove me. It fueled my bones. And there had been lots of stuff in my life that had happened that I was a part of that I experienced that could just turn me really sour. But man I loved life and I was so curious and I always wanted to go to California. So I thanked this female curious woman I was twelve years ago. And twelve years ago I was twenty three. Holy shit balls and I had no idea nobody knew what was the road in front of me. I drove through New Mexico, Arizona, and landed right in Los Angeles, California. I want to take a little time now and read what. Some words Brene Brown has written on Curiosity. And it says grounded confidence equals. Rumble skills plus curiosity plus practice. And if you know Brene Brown you’ve read her work lately. Then you know that rumble skills are hurt. Basically. They’re leaning in to vulnerability and the uncomfortableness. But curiosity is an act of vulnerability and courage. Researchers are finding evidence that curiosity is correlated with creativity, intelligence, improved learning and memory, and problem solving. A study published in October 22nd, 2014 and the issue of the journal Neuron suggests. Sorry. The journal Neuron. This suggests that the brain’s chemistry changes when we become curious. Helping us better learn and retain information. But curiosity is uncomfortable because it involves uncertainty and vulnerability. In the book ‘The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends on It’. Ian Leslie writes: “Curiosity is unruly. It doesn’t like rules or at least assumes that all rules are provisional. Subject to the laceration of a smart question. Nobody has yet thought to ask. It disdains the approved pathways preferring diversions unexplained excursions impulsive left turns. In short. Curiosity is defiant. It’s exactly why. Curiosity leads to grounded confidence and rumble skills. We’re scared to have hard conversations because we can’t control the path or outcome. And we start coming out of our skin when we don’t get the resolution fast enough. It’s as if we’d rather have a bad solution that leads to action than stand the uncertainty of problem identification”. So. While in this transition and especially on this new moon, some questions that I’ve toyed with this morning. What have I been avoiding? What people, situations, or attitude am I holding on to that I know aren’t working? What am I willing to release in efforts to be more whole? Where have I held others or myself to excessively harsh standards? Can I give myself permission to make mistakes? These questions came up for me when I was reading part of Jen Racioppi‘s stuff but I’m not going to go through my answers because that shit’s personal, but you know this new moon and this big transition space has. Especially the last couple months like I’ve haven’t done too many podcast interviews or you know going out. I’ve really just kept to myself and my close circle of friendships and you know we all have these big expectations of ourselves and what I’ve had to let go of is this idea and this path that I’ve thought life was going to go for me and I could see so far down this damn path, which is crazy. We create almost these made up stories and false realities and then the rug kind of, not kind of but for real, gets pulled out from underneath us. It’s not a bad thing, but we and I’m talking about myself in particular has had to let go of this idea that I thought or I imagined my story playing out. Right now I have no idea. I’m living in the unknown. I don’t even know if I’m wearing a seatbelt. But one of the biggest things that I’ve had to give myself compassion and grace is forgiving myself and not judging myself. Really looking at the mirror and loving what is there and we all have this you know I’m no different. But know some days I look in the mirror I’m like “Who the hell is that?” Or “Oh my God. I’m so so disappointed” or you know this this self talk that can go on for miles down the wrong path, the negative path, but we have to forgive ourselves and that’s what has had to shift within me is forgiveness and letting this judgment go. Because we are so hard on ourselves. Males Females every everybody. No it doesn’t. Doesn’t matter. What you identify as and really trusting the universe the God I believe in. And like I said earlier magic is all around. It’s everywhere. Love, love, love is all around. So yeah that’s. What I wanted to share a little bit some things that have helped me over the last two years. Definitely my close team of friendship and professionals. Get people around you that are going to support you to be the best version of yourself. Don’t share your shit with everybody. Not everybody deserves your shit. Or your celebrations. That is yours. Share your shit and your celebrations with those people that value you and that you value. Practices. Like mindset practices. Movement practices. Those helped me stay grounded. Oh and believe me there are some mornings where. I’m like I don’t really want to meditate or move. That’s actually the last thing I want to do. But it’s habit now and I don’t wanna say after every time I feel so much better, but there’s a little clarity after each time. There’s a little there’s a deeper understanding for my physical body. There is a greater appreciation for the mind body connection. So yeah those practices have been key. Music. Music has been instrumental in my life for as long as I can remember. You know and every time there was a transition for me. You know now I look back and everything seems so small compared to the transition I’m going through right now, but you know different music got me through different times. And if you’re somebody that doesn’t listen to music. I would challenge you to make it a priority for your life for the next two weeks. It can be a part priority like when you wake up in the morning you put on some music or when you have lunch you listen to music or as you wind down you listen to a certain style of music. But I challenge you to listen to some music for the next two weeks. And if you’re somebody that already listens to music start to pay attention to the type of music that you listen to during your transition times. I say transition times because we all have this or we all need this and maybe don’t incorporate it yet but like the transition from sleep to waking up. Or the transition from work to lunch and lunch back to work. Or the transition from the end of the day to hanging out with your husband, partner, wife, whoever. Or the transition from the very end of the day to sleep. You know start to pay attention to the style or the type of music that you prefer during that time or those transitions. It’s pretty interesting. I’ve been doing that. Yes, so your team, the practices that keep you grounded, and music. Those are some big things that have helped me. You know. Also like when I say team I think of not only my close friendships but also the BIRTHFIT HQ team. Like they’re fabulous and I don’t know how I got so lucky. Yeah. I also think of the deuce gym team. Those coaches are pretty fabulous too. If you’re in Venice California, don’t hesitate to drop in there. And give everybody a hug for me. Yeah. When I say mindset and movement not only is it my morning practices but also I tried to walk. I make a really solid effort to walk anywhere from two to five miles a day. I know I’ve shared my average is around three right now but on these walks I’ll listen to a podcast or an album or nothing at all. But yeah that’s my goal during those walks. Yeah. And then music. Music can happen on walks, transition time. I could play an album and use it for some journaling time but yeah get some music in your life. So. That’s about all I wanted to share. Like I said I will be in Austin for an indefinite amount of time. We have our BIRTHFIT summit happening in Austin, Texas May 17th through 19th and I could not be more stoked at how this is shaping up. We have some real kickass humans that are going to be involved and show up. And. I’m just grateful for everybody that I know will be there already. Tickets for the general public will go on sale in January of 2019 and once they sell out they sell out. So sorry. Many of you missed it last year because we sold out, so don’t do that again. But seriously once we sell out we can’t add any more space. There are a number of BIRTHFIT professional and coach seminars lined up for 2019. Definitely if you are a coach, a personal trainer, a gym owner, a yoga instructor, a pilaties instructor. Anybody that works with women in a physical type of setting. Get your booty to the BIRTHFIT coach seminar. There’s no experience quite like it. If you are a professional that works with women and this is anybody that is a doula, an OBGYN, a midwife, a chiropractor, a physical therapist, a nutritional coach or therapist. The professional seminar is going to be where we all unite and we must all unite in order to make change in the maternal healthcare world. So big things popping in 2019 have some big projects that I am working on in 2019. I don’t want to say too much. But there is one project for all women that will enhance lifestyle. There are a number of BirthFit programs smaller programs that we are working on. There is a resource that we are working on that will be for training and the motherhood transition specifically. Birthing coach seminars definitely a beautiful trailer teaser for this so if you love the birth coach seminar, you’ll definitely like this project if we can get it out in 2019. And yes some big things for the podcast. I know we revealed this on the episode with Lindsay Mumma and the one with Emily Russak. The podcast is going to have multiple hosts. It won’t be just myself. Emily and Lindsay Mumma will be getting very hands on with their community and sharing a lot more stories from the East Coast and West Coast. We have such a beautiful diverse group of women and men that follow BIRTHFIT. And one of the things I love most is that we can all show up and leave judgment and perspectives… Lets say shitty perspectives at the door of our seminars and we can all show up and have really authentic conversations and discussions around topics that are so polarizing. And so I just want to at least share more of the birth community and stop talking, but really share more of the birthing community. So yeah Embo and Mumma will be jumping into some of that. So I hope you have enjoyed the BIRTHFIT podcast for 2018. We’ve had some stellar guests on. If you haven’t listened to all of 2018. What are you doing? Definitely do that over the holidays. You know after you eat some big meals but you know some of the latest episodes are Codie, who is the co creator of black love. And this is a show I love to watch because of the partnership and marriages that deeply love and communicate and choose each other. Before that we had Emily Schromm. Who we partnered with on the BirthFit in pack bags. And if you’re an entrepreneur, a hustler, a female that is really into strength training, Emily Shromm is your girl. And she’s definitely…I loved the way she molds masculine energy. So we associate masculine energy with strength training. Let’s say numbers and weights and loads. But she molds masculine energy with feminine energy. You can see this in her beautiful new gym platform strength in Denver Colorado. We’ve had Embo on for three episodes in which she shares all about her motherhood transition journey. We had Mia Grant who’s a NICU nurse in New York. We’ve also had Nicole Jardim, the period girl, which I loved that episode and talking about our cycles. But this is all just this fall so I don’t know what you’re doing. Definitely use this free information that we’re sharing with you via the podcast. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah and whatever holiday you celebrate. But that’s it for me. I will talk to you all soon, remember love is all around us.