Who are you?
Lindsey: [00:00:00] Welcome to the BIRTHFIT podcast, Mia Grant. I’m really glad we got to sync up and I’m really excited to hear from you and learn from you. It sounds like you’ve been on quite the adventure lately. Introduce yourself and maybe share with the BIRTHFIT community who you are in this world. Who you show up as.
Mia Grant: [00:00:26] Oh great. Thank you. I’m great and excited for this year with you and all the beautiful mamas out there. Yeah so you know I’m born in Sweden. My accent. So we can clear that but I you know I got into this field or area about 13 years ago where my granddaughter was born and you know my my daughter had already an 18 months old at that time and she gave birth to twins. It was Ava and little Michael. Ava ending up in that neonatal ICU. NICU as I call it and you know I was a businesswoman and I’ve been doing business for 20 years or something and I’m kinda that woman like real aggressive and you know you want to go and get it. You know? That attitude and this new life going into the hospital being vulnerable in that place where I saw her in the incubator and then coming in there and helping her feeding and changing diaper and being on the other side of the health care was quite a traumatic situation and not only that, my daughter was not able because of complications that she could not be with her at that time. So that day I mean I experienced quite a lot of things that I later came home to you know to my husband and at 4:00a.m. in the morning I woke him up and I said “Kenny, Kenny I’m going to be a NICU nurse”. And he’s like “What are you talking about? Go back to sleep”.
Lindsey: [00:02:18] Were you a nurse at all at this point.
Mia Grant: [00:02:20] Noo I was businesswoman for like 20 years.
Lindsey: [00:02:24] So not healing field at all?
Mia Grant: [00:02:26] Not at all in this field at all. So and here I am a grandmother in my almost in my 50s right. And going back to school and four years after I graduated with bachelor’s degree in science and nursing. So there I was just going to tell all the mom’s too like don’t be scared if they hear something that’s calling you. There is never–You’re never too late.
Lindsey: [00:02:53] That’s amazing.
Mia Grant: [00:02:55] So. Yeah. So I tell you organic chemistry was you know. It was terrible that was some of the things that I said “OK I’m going to do it” and I almost cried through my classes. And I did it and I ended up with an A, you know, you surprise yourself by practicing.
Lindsey: [00:03:15] I think I cried through organic chemistry as well.
Mia Grant: [00:03:19] So yeah. So that story that comes to. Really what we are all about in in our careers here like we have a path and then either we are on a goal for a while and then all of a sudden we kind of change path because we’re not sure what it’s meant to be right? And That’s exactly what happened to me.
Lindsey: [00:03:46] How did you know– And I may go off on a tangent, but I’m already loving this story. How did you know that that was like the right thing to do? Were you so in tune with who you are and you know who you are to your daughter and your husband or whoever was around you like how did you know “OK you I’m going to take this fork in the road”?
Mia Grant: [00:04:10] Yeah. So I think that is clearing very much now. I did not know at the time what it really was because I couldn’t picture it and tell that’s what it was. But I had a flow that energy that I had toward studying and commitment and devotion was so strong that was like I said organic chemistry did not block me or what ever came in front of me the challenges. I was like “OK” I didn’t run away I just kind of “OK I deal with it”. And I knew that if I’m doing this there’s something more. So all of a sudden the four years went and I thought here I am like looking and I said “Woah” and even my granddaughter came to my graduation.
After Graduation as a Nurse…
Lindsey: [00:05:23] I love that. So What did you do after you graduated?
Mia Grant: [00:34:17] So I got a job right away at the hospital that I am working right now.
Lindsey: [00:34:22] OK in Long Island.
Mia Grant: [00:34:23] Yes. Yes. One of the biggest hospital here and I love it. And I see myself working there until you know I can’t do this anymore or I don’t wanna do it. So I I really truly love it. Of course nightshift was not something my favorites but I made it past those years and now I work day shifts and When I worked more with…because I knew what I wanted it was easier for me to really know why I was there as a nurse. And I saw the moms that was so overwhelmed not only just because they gave me birth but now the new situation being in the NICU and they can not be the mom that they really are and now everything has been shut down from them. And you can see almost they are walking around terrified because they don’t even know what’s going on. So I could for some reason I could hold that space for them and I could get them closer and closer and into the baby then and see what it was. But I said to them I said “something is wrong here” you know “something is up”. And I had a different experience of course back in Sweden with the health system and everything else, but not to say anything about that. I would just I felt that I could go and learn and teach more about how I can help the moms. So I went back to NYU here in New York and I got my life coaching. It was easier for me to get a hand on the moms in a way where they can start having these amazing transformational time in this time.
Baby is in NICU, What Does Partner Do?
Lindsey: [00:35:42] So yeah you touched on something that I feel like we haven’t chatted about much on BIRTHFIT. But in my work as being a doula and chiropractor and somebody that is present at births, the unknown. You know birth is full of unknowns and I guess this was early July, I had a couple and they went into labor early, baby ended up in the NICU and mom was basically in denial about what was going on and dad was trying to keep it together. He was scheduling, you know, home chiropractic care with me for a mom and him. But she almost and you touched on this a bit like she didn’t want to go see the babies as much as like somebody on the outside. Like me viewing it would be like I feel like I would be there all the time you know, but it’s a trauma like you said. Yeah so how do you approach that? Like what can we do.
Mia Grant: [00:36:28] So what happened is like the unknown is kind of the scariest thing for all of us. We wanna know. So If we look at the past we feel like we feel more of the part that almost depression, right, or we should have done that ‘would of, could of’ and if we go in the future we have anxiety because we don’t know what is happening, but actually being in the present moment. You can start to heal and you can start to be in that place where actually peace and harmony and love and all that nurturing is laden. But as soon as we get outside of that, that’s where –So that would that’s how I can get them back into either simple tools like breathing and ask maybe the mom puts the baby skin to skin on the chest. And now she is maybe even frightened because theres tubes and wires with her ever– and even a mom on I work also at the postpartum a lot even mom there, she can have traumatic things going on you know through her wounds or anywhere maybe ending up with a c-section and she didn’t want to have that scar and she had just everything is going. So she is more outside of herself. With a picture of all the things that are going on. And then they forget about the power that is right into the chest in where that baby needs it. That’s the thing that I feel that when they start to take the little bit of bad they sense and feel that that baby all the needs are crap. Their heart, their lung, their voice and if they are you know pumping or breast feeding or whatever that’s another plus. But just that will claim all the love but then you know you need that support around you to get to that place so that’s what it is.
Lindsey: [00:37:51] Yeah that’s being in the present like that’s so hard and you touched on this like it’s almost like they’ve left their bodies you know. And so little tools that you said like the breathing or even the skin to skin, something to bring them almost like grounded back here to Earth. Like let’s be right here now let’s walk down to the NICU, you know things like that. Yeah that’s pretty powerful. Any tips for the partner or dad like if you could tell them one or two things just in that scenario per say and then we’ll go.
Mia Grant: [00:38:18] So I will get too of really good tips for them, but I just want to share some thing that I see daily with men. So when a woman because men is it has a different position here, you know. When a woman, his wife or her partner, has the baby and they’re breastfeeding and holding and they’re connecting, I see the most brightest light in the room ever. His smile is so happy because the couplet together is working and that’s all what he needs or what he needs to see that and now when it’s not working. So when I walk in I can see on the husband right away “BOOM”. Okay I see. Then I know from his side of view, even not even talking to him, I can see something is up. And even now talking to mom. I can see something is up. But then when the mom is connecting, I’m helping her with the breast feeding what helping to skin to skin. He’s like “Ahhh”. That is joy. But we got to get to that part. So when that is not happening what I can tell you. I always say to the dad you know “You know dad you and I we are gofer So mom when mom in the hospital you know don’t you and I we gotta help out to make it more comfortable. You know we can put pillows around or we could do this and that and that. So it’s hard for men to be all of that for their women. To become their light because that’s what they want to see or want to see the woman to be full of light because when they have light around them, they’re shine up the whole room. And then the man is you know that’s all that he wants. So a tool it depends on the family. So you kind of go in to each family “What is it that would help mom in this moment” and he feels overwhelmed. “What would you want me to do. Oh you want is to get that” and she goes “No I don’t want that”. You know only thing she wants is to connect with the baby and he doesn’t know that. He knows it, but he doesn’t know how to. The man is in a hard position in that way. So if they accept to be the gofer. Until she gets to that place where the light is. Then it’s going to flow.
Lindsey: [00:40:01] Yeah they’re in a tough spot. I do feel like the partners are, because you’re exactly right. You can tell if if things are working or not working on their face the minute you get there look for a postpartum visit or whatever. And I was just thinking back about this couple in the dad’s eyes were light basically help me you know. And you know so I spent my whole time just with her. I’m thinking of the first visit I did, but it is it’s like once they see that that mom and baby are working together connecting they’re “Ha” their relief, but they try to fix it. You know it’s like you said you got to go you can’t fix the issue you have to go around and see how you can support mom and help her connect either with herself or with baby or something.
Mia Grant: [00:40:37] And I think it’s a very individual in each family how that works and what it means. I also feel that. All of these things are happening it’s happening so that we can grow. Yeah so we know that it’s–so we can go back a little bit maybe once step forward to how we grow about it. Yeah the polarities is actually for example between I would say this stillness that where we are relaxed creative having the intuition the mother really like that gut feeling we have right. To be calm in that stillness we call it ‘shunia’ in the yoga world. To get to that place everything’s going to flow everything’s going to grow everything’s gonna be fantastic. But we also have that part where we have the opposite. So I want to talk about the polarities so we understand about the polarity so if the mom feels overwhelmed or a dad feels overwhelmed because mom is overwhelmed, because that’s why he is feeling overwhelmed too. It’s because of the polarity. So it’s the balance. you know how it is we have instant coffee, Instagram, instant everything you know fast speedy gonzales, right? And we are on it. It doesn’t mean that we should not be active and should not be doing the things but you can’t lay on the couch all day either, right and be relaxed. So but knowing the balance of everything. So imagine a woman now giving birth for 12 hours, 24 hours, 36 hours and everything exploded in her lower chakras, if everybody knows what the chakra is. I’m sure the mom you know out there you know that. You first time around it was a little shocking like “What happended down there”. You know like it’s something. And then you have your husband there and he’s like “Ooooh” you know now you’re losing almost all your femininity in there, right? What happened and it’s like an explosion and now you’ve got to get into that more feminine of the nurturing and loving and caring because that’s all what you need, but then you have the polarity of you know the oh yeah I’ve been doing the muscle and I’ve been doing work out I’m going to be strong and that demand in female. And then we have other things of the polarities like the moon cycles, right? The moon and the sun and up and down and everything about the polarities is changing our body and that can change within a minute, in a second. So just so that we are aware of it and it happens the same thing for men. So they also have half the body is about 50 percent masculine they have 50 percent masculine and sometimes we are more masculine and more feminine you know. But just so we notice where we are so we can help each other where we can go. And I think that is the power of the flow of them movement of the changes that we have so that we become more true to who we are. So we understand ourselves a little bit better and understanding the flow in that instead of fighting something that happened for example a scar or wound that happened that you did not really want. Instead of fighting against that, you’re actually you are nurturing that, you are actually reading into that, you are healing it with like beauitful love. You can not go and fight it as a maculine side and like fighting it.
Embrace Feminine Energy
Lindsey: [00:43:06] Yeah I I like that you brought this up the masculine and feminine energy the polarities is there because I do feel like the population both men and women that follow us. Majority of them I would say embrace the masculine society that we have. You know, they’re used to counting macros or calories or something counting for nutrition. Many are used to reporting numbers and datas for like for fitness, whatever fitness might be related. And then when we start to and I noticed this in my classes and with my doula clients and people I work with directly is when I start to teach them about birth, and you know super basic birth education stuff, you know they want to know exactly how long a contraction is, how long rest will be, how long labor will be. You know they want some kind of timeframe. And you know it’s you know it’s work on our end to basically prepare them you know in the fall classes start to finish like “Hey we’re preparing for the unknown. Surrender, let go” that sort of thing. But you know you really are preparing for the unknown. And I know we want to talk about healing on the postpartum side but is there anything that even women, partners, men, whoever they can do throughout pregnancy to embrace more of that feminine energy just in your opinion?
Mia Grant: [00:44:26] So maybe I’ll just take a little bit of a moment. All moms out there, mothers out there, if you’re in a safe space right now and not in a car driving maybe they can close their eyes and just start to inhale through the nose all the way down to your low point of your lungs and with your belly expand and then you exhale with your abdominal push your old air out into your spine and let that air just pass through and come out through your nose.And when it passes, it passes the heart center as well. It’s like we speak from the heart. Just because it’s passing. And when we inhale we also inhale and let the inhalation pass it’s [unintelligible] center. And we start to nurture parts of our body when we start to become relaxed, we can start to feel a little bit more. Where we need to nurture. Where we need to care a little tiny bit more. And not avoiding it. You know like a baby or two year old that runs scrub her knees. Abrasion comes up and you go “Oh Mommy Mommy I got a boo-boo”. And what you do is actually you put your hand on it and you blow right on it, right? And that’s what we need to do. And that is what feminine is. Doesn’t mean that we are powerless we can use that nurturing. That’s what we’re longing for. When women go out and work, all day long, she uses alot of her masculine power. And she’s like “woah”. And then she’s going to do an exercise and she’s going to do that because she wants to be strong and that is perfect. I am so into being an athlete and being strong because you got to hold up your body and you got to do that. But you have to have a balance. And that balance is just what you need to connect a short little little time every day. And especially if you have a baby on your chest that’s when you can take the time to nurture and a man can then also all do that. Well they are not as I would say maybe open to meditation or a breathing technique where they can sit when they are sitting they can sit by in front of the TV and using the remote control while we think “Now that is not relaxing”. But for them they are. Remember like how it was like thousands and thousands of years ago where men was sitting hunting for the animals and they had like a gun like warrior’s view and they’re looking you know and they were focusing on focusing and focusing on something right? Really for a long time. Nobody disturbed them. They loved that. That’s their meditation. That’s their remote in their hand with a TV they can sit on the remote on the TV for a long time like that.
Lindsey: [00:46:07] Absolutely.
Mia Grant: [00:46:08] So people just know that we are two different species but together.
Lindsey: [00:46:11] Yea that’s brilliant. So let’s go to the postpartum side of things you talked a bit about birth trauma earlier and I know I mentioned this before. How can the word recalibrate comes back to me as a female. How on the postpartum side of things. You know we dream of this birth we want and then things don’t go. You know it’s unsuccessful in our eyes. How can we get back on track? Or you know go down this path and recalibrate or you know many women. Yeah. They feel they reach a point then they feel stuck you know.
[00:46:44] And they don’t all –They feel stuff but they feel overwhelmed but also like they are losers and that is the most not true statement at all. I mean this so I want to say to all mothers out there. The way you have done everything is absolutely perfect. Perfect in this situation because when you are tuned in to you, you did exactly what you’re supposed to. And you know what really can come between everything. Is our mind. And our thoughts and we could have a whole five episode podcast on just about just the mind. How that could mess you up, you know?
Lindsey: [00:47:09] Yeah.
Mia Grant: [00:47:09] But also it could be good because there is knowledge and information but it’s the mind that takes over everything. So it is to let the mind come back a little bit more down in for your heart center. And when it gets back into your heart center it does not mean that you become weak. It means that you speak with grace it’s like harmony. And actually If you see women that are powerful. They speak from their lower part of their abdominal area. And then when they speak they pass the air has a heart center and they speak with love. But they are focused. So they are not speaking from up from that you know from that area of where you want to have power but you don’t have power you know. So you see that postpartum where you losing your area of the pelvic floor. And I know you have great exercises because I checked them out and they try them their was an app. So I will yeah. I love that and I nonstop I tell the moms, “Please focus on your pelvic area”. Because that has been wounded and from there you can start to move the energy up towards your heart, to everything else. But if that is already so wounded and scarred it needs growth, nurturing. So like I said with that little 2 year old that got hurt. What do you do? You put your hand on it and you blow on it a little bit. What was then degree of you doing it. It works for you. And then. You know all of that. The things that we have. In the lower chakras if we wanna go into on the chakras.
Lindsey: [00:48:29] Yeah I was just going to ask you to share. Like for those that are listening and “Chakras? OK What are we..”. Because I Love relating stuff to them. But on a practical sense like yeah what are we dealing with?
[00:48:38] Yeah. No so we’re just dealing with a lot of energy that has been tumbled around like in the washing machine. And just look at it as that. And you want to have it more like focused. A stronger pelvic floor which you’re doing from doing the work you’re doing. And when you have that strong pelvic floor you have a better power coming from there instead of having everything is–.
Lindsey: [00:49:00] Yeah it’s almost like an organized energy vs. disorganized energy. Yeah.
Mia Grant: [00:49:05] And I think everybody has it’s own. I think that I’m very focused on every single moment is authentic in their way. So you’ll have to start to listen to who you are. So if all other sisters are doing certain way doesn’t mean that you will do that but it’s a great way of sharing things because one of your sisters’ gonna actually say something and say “Ahh this helped me”. And you’re gonna say “Ahh thank you”. So the community after postpartum is support is huge. So having a community after a great support system just with other mothers is fantastic. I would definitely give that as one of the top ingredients.
Lindsey: [00:49:41] You mention with a kid in their boo-boo or if they scrape their knee touching it and blowing on it. Do you recommend because– and I ask this basically because I know we recommend like laying and breathing and touching your scar after cesarean. And you know my first encounter with that which was like back in 2009 when I had a mom do that was just tears falling from her face. Like “Woah” yeah. What are your thoughts there?
[00:50:02] So often when that happens the tears, first of all we go through hormonal changes like crazy right. So we have to understand about that. But the other part is we cleansing when we tear does not mean that we are sad. And especially dad’s in the hospital right after you know giving birth, moms can cry and they say “Oh why is she sad”. Sometimes I know they are not sad they’re actually cleansing and feeling the joy of love. So a time when this woman may be teared she could of actually be also holding that and tearing for clearing beautiful stuff that she is actually incredible healer.
Lindsey: [00:50:33] I like that.
Mia Grant: [00:50:33] So I think we will look at ourselves because we will learn from when we are small. That “Don’t cry because you’re not sad”. But tearing sometimes is healing. And clearing space and also just holding like you’re saying and holding that place and nurturing. I look at it as more like it is there for you to learn. How to hear. It’s there for you to nurture it. So we actually of all of these I wanted to say when we gave birth to a baby, we are actually giving time to birth to become a mother. That time that we are giving birth we are as much giving birth to us as a mother.
[00:51:06] That’s awesome. Yeah you’re birthing two things. So I’m going to skip ahead in the life timeline. Let’s say mom’s healed, recover, recalibrated gone through this. And you know sometime in between like one to two years and I haven’t figured out like the exact timing of it but one to two years. It’s almost like mom’s trying to figure out her purpose or her identity. And sometimes it is sooner than one year you know. But yeah who she is and you know the time may come up where she’s actually “Oh I need to grieve the princess before the maiden before, because now I realize that I’ll never be that person again”. You know at some point there’s that I want to say like identity crisis that comes up. Yeah what are your thoughts on that.
Mia Grant: [00:51:48] So it’s more of the duality you know. Oh we could talk for an hour about that one. But I would say and I feel– how many hats do we have like not even 10. I would say 50 hats right. So of course you have the duality in it. You have to be that strong mom you have to be the caring and nurturing mom and you have to do in this and that. Which is that density of you being a fantastic mom and baking cookies and making stuff for school and now you have maybe three kids and you’re driving everywhere and you do it. I mean it is absolutely a full time job. On top of that you’ll have a full time job already. Right? And you also gotta look pretty and–What the marketing tell us to do. So you what you’ve got all of all of these things are just putting so much pressure on the women. And yeah so when that is that is coming becoming overwhelming. I think it is the time of awakening. And either we fall flat on our face on our nose and it “Wow what just happened here. I got to wake up and I got to change. I cannot have all of these things going on and going to minimizing “What is it really in my life that is important?”, Right? And that when we’re starting to get into that place. We’re getting further and further inwards because we’re not going to find it outside of us. There is no way we find that place outside. We can see a lot of things what other moms or other women are doing that looks fantastic, but it’s not going to be true to who you are. So you have already a destiny. You have already had something inside you that you had the gift of who you are. And we go through life in this time where we are busy and we are doing so much stuff and some days are fantastic and some days are not. And those are the days when it’s a little bit more harder. Like like you’re saying year or two years you’re starting to wanna–That’s the time you take your time for yourself. Maybe it is 30 seconds, maybe a minute if that is your time limit. Or maybe an hour or maybe in a weekend with friends or by yourself doing something and it doesn’t mean that you want to separate yourself from everybody. But it depends on: what is the need of you of understanding who you are and what you want. And like I said I had a calling when I was almost in my 50s and I changed. I don’t know what’s going to be. The unknown is in front of me. Will I go back to school again and do something I don’t think so. I think I find it a great fantastic path, but we have to just be open and embrace that.
Working with Mia Grant
Lindsey: [00:53:52] Yeah I love that. How can people work with you? I know you mentioned this to me before, but for our audience where can they find you and what kind of stuff can they get in on?
Mia Grant: [00:54:01] Yeah so I have a website and on the website I have sessions that we can do one on one and I can also integrate with a group sometimes as well, but one on one you get really effective with. And right now I have if you contact me through that and if you write BirthFit on it I will give 30 minutes extra time on each session.
Lindsey: [00:54:11] Woah that’s huge.
Mia Grant: [00:54:12] Yeah yeah. So you can choose a package of one session and you get 30 minutes more or a package of three or six or twelve sessions and each session will be 30 minutes more.
Lindsey: [00:54:24] That’s awesome.
Mia Grant: [00:54:25] Yeah. So I really feel that this is a time for women to get into who they are.
Lindsey: [00:54:30] The time is now.
Mia Grant: [00:54:31] The time is now and we are rising and we’re rising together. I just wanted to share if I have time a thing with women that just to have in their back pocket to pull out when you feel this place where it is not–you’re not so comfortable. So a lot of woman we use I call it the 3 C’s. So it’s “Complain compare and compete”. And that is against who we are because we become better when we are coming through of who we are like that beautiful, graceful, loving place that we are. We become more efficient even if it sounds like oh that sounds too wimpy, but it’s not wimpy, it is really effective. So instead of using the three C’s: complain, compare, and compete with each other, we start to care for each other. We have compassion and we are creative. And we ARE creative. We’re the most creative on Earth. We are the one that creates everything here right?
Lindsey: [00:55:14] Yeah. Yeah!
Mia Grant: [00:55:15] So being in that space and having that in mind that “Oh I just noticed that I complained about somebody else” or “I compared myself with another woman. How can I see this woman in a creative way how I can actually blossom from her in a way, in my authentic way”. Do you see?
Lindsey: [00:55:33] Yeah I love that.
Mia Grant: [00:55:34] Incredibly creative.
Lindsey: [00:55:35] Yeah and I feel like those words: care, compassion, create really resonate with the feminine energy. Like yeah that’s really good and something you touched on probably like two or three sentences before made me think about my journey and how I’ve been embracing– people will tell me how strong I am “You are so strong. You know you start this business you moved this across the country” whatever. But every time they say that to me lately like the past year, I’ve been saying I’m strong and soft or strong and graceful. You know and I think like you said, if we can own our voice and use it from that deep part of our belly. You know it doesn’t have to come across in any negative sort of way it can come across with caring and compassionate and also give us space to be creative. Yeah.
Mia Grant: [00:56:21] You said it so beautiful. When I see you I see so much more potential what I can do because you are already lifting what you are doing, so whatever I have inside me, I can see that I can go out and help more women as you are helping in your way. I can go out and help other women because you are motivating me and inspire me.
Lindsey: [00:56:40] I love it.
Mia Grant: [00:56:41] We can rise together.
Lindsey: [00:56:41] Yeah I need to get out to Long Island.
Mia Grant: [00:56:43] Actually it was like 70s today and [unintelligible] has not happened yet, but you know it’s like it’s starting to get a little misty.
Lindsey: [00:56:48] Well I’ve certainly enjoyed chatting with you and getting to see your beautiful face and meet you in person. I definitely want to stay in touch and see how we can support each other in the future. Get myself on one of your retreats. Like that would be amazing. Anything you want to add before we sign off.
Mia Grant: [00:57:04] Yeah I mean I just wanted to tell all the moms out there that you matter you are magnificent. You are so important that it’s beyond comprehension. But the day when you’re starting to feel and see it, that’s when things are just gonna almost come loose and just gonna start to flow right and I just want to say and share that I have so much love for all the women out there that whatever they are doing you are doing fantastic. So don’t blame and shame and you know, put yourself down. You are already incredible.
Lindsey: [00:57:30] Yes that’s beautiful. Thank you so much.
Mia Grant: [00:57:32] Oh thank you.