BIRTHFIT Podcast Episode 91 featuring Dr. Lindsey Mathews, Dr. Erica Boland, and Magic Mel
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Hello, BIRTHFIT. This is your founder, Dr. Lindsey Mathews. Hopefully you know my voice by now. I found this special episode in the vault. Well, actually, Machete found it in the vault. This is a gym, and this is myself, Magic Mel, and Dr. Erica Boland after the last BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar of 2017, maybe after one too many ciders. So I wanted to give you a glimpse into some of our discussions, what we thought about the year, how we wanted to evolve and then as we played the Girls Gone WOD game of Would You Rather. So this is a super fun episode and I wanted to leave you with it for the holiday season and to close out 2017, and I hope you enjoy it very much.
We are recording live in a hotel room in Naperville, Illinois. I almost said Naperville, Chicago. I have no idea where we are. We’re in the Midwest somewhere. We are done with Day One of the BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar and this seminar will complete our seminars for 2017. Yeah, crazy. But yeah, I’m sitting here with Magic Mel. What up?
Mel: What up?
Lindsey: And Erica Boland.
Lindsey: Yeah, so we’re rocking this seminar, the BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar here in Chicago/Naperville/CrossFit thunderbolt, Oswego — I don’t even know if that’s how you say it — in Illinois. Notice I did not add the S, I know how to say Illinois, not Illinois. But yeah, how are we doing, Mel?
Mel: We’re so good. We just had a wonderful dinner, nectars. Again, it’s going to be like Dallas all over. No, it’s not.
Lindsey: No, you had tequila, I had cider.
Mel: No, I had gin. Boland had tequila. You had cider and a pretzel bun.
Lindsey: I got really crazy with the glutens.
Mel: You ate all the glutens tonight.
Erica: Mel got labeled BIRTHFIT Head Marketing.
Lindsey: Marketing Director tonight at the local bar, it’s true.
Mel: They’re all male.
Lindsey: Yeah, I don’t think we talked to any female possible clients tonight but all males.
Mel: In fact, and or swinging for the other team. So they’re not in the business appropriation, anyway. He gave me two French fries, one for my friend.
Lindsey: A friend fry. Oh. How are we doing, Erica?
Erica: Good, we’re doing well. It’s nice to be so close to home. Yet, a flight is easier than a four-hour drive. But it’s nice to be so close to home especially when it’s 80 in October around here. You brought the weather with you, Mathews, I’m thankful.
Lindsey: I try. I try to travel warm wherever I go.
Lindsey: So you’re both part of the originally BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar in Venice, California. So what do we think? This is the last one of 2017. We’re just super comfortable on the hotel bed right now, king-size. What do we think? What do we got? It’s literally been a year of seminars, so what are we feeling? Okay, speechless.
Mel: Yeah, it made me a little bit speechless, right? Like holy shit, it’s been a year? Like, yeah, what was that, February?
Erica: February, we just sat on the couch in Dallas and did the podcast in Dallas.
Mel: Yeah. So end of January was the Venice seminar. Okay. We were talking today, the how did we do this in three days? Yeah. So originally it was a three-day seminar that is now two.
Lindsey: Two full days, 8:00 to 6:00 p.m.
Mel: Yeah, real full days but so [0:10:01] [Indiscernible] and intentional and we just cut the fluff. Not that there was a ton of it but…
Lindsey: Less talk, more rock, yes. But we really could elaborate on everything here.
Mel: It’s true.
Erica: It’s a whole weekend, like each topic could be a whole weekend in itself.
Lindsey: Yeah. But how are we feeling about the seminar now?
Mel: Generally speaking of the two-day seminar or this one in particular?
Lindsey: Generally speaking about the two-day seminar.
Mel: Yeah, real good.
Erica: I like it. It makes it more efficient but still the same space is created, people are able to connect and open up within two days. Some groups right away, some groups by the end, but for everybody that gives their time to travel and be here, it’s just…
Lindsey: Not have to take off work.
Erica: Yeah. I think it’s a little bit easier, like a lot of these people that are coming are parents or somewhere in the motherhood transition themselves.
Lindsey: It allows them space to do that.
Erica: Yeah. As well as make sure that we have our shit dialed in.
Lindsey: Yeah, for sure. So we just got finished with Day One, what do you think are the big topics that we cover, Day One?
Mel: I guess one of the biggest things that I think about is turning around the aspect where its culture that we have of prenatal and postpartum, where prenatal women are fragile — that’s not what we think — but that prenatal women are fragile and that postpartum women tend to rush back, like we’re going to hurry up and get back to pre-baby body. And I think we do a good job of setting that straight in Day One where we talk about how fucking amazing the female body is and how it’s the ultimate expression of female fitness, and then on postpartum, that this is the time, the sacred time to honor and to really set the foundation for that future self to be an even better more evolved version as a mother.
Lindsey: Right. I think core is pretty important.
Erica: Well, yeah, I’m a little bit biased about that. But at this seminar we’ve got a good representation of Wisconsin so it will be interesting to see how that’s implemented in the gyms that I know. But yeah, totally related though because a lot of the core fitness or core what we think is function now is wholly based on aesthetics and six-pack and pre-baby body back and doesn’t truly take us back to the way that we were born to move and move in with intention.
Lindsey: Yeah. I love our developmental kinesiology, that section, like showing how all human beings, no matter where they are in this world, they learn to move through the same developmental milestones.
Erica: Yeah, it’s almost like it’s a hidden secret for people, like they want to know what do I during pregnancy to make sure that I yadi-yada, to keep their pre-baby body, and what do I do postpartum to get back to… It’s like no, let’s work on some mindset but also the reason that BIRTHFIT trains the core similarly in both is because it doesn’t matter, male or female or where you are, born to move the same.
Lindsey: What do you all think about birth history? We cover that in our seminars, just in case you haven’t been to a seminar and don’t know.
Erica: I dove into birth history when I was pregnant with our second son.
Lindsey: Oh, that’s brave.
Erica: Well, it was not really brave. I was going in blind and like infuriating. But the universe put me next to this retired OB in my plane flight home from North Carolina, and he saw my BIRTHFIT bag and he’s like “Do you get women fit for birth?” So if any of you know Dr. Andrew Good and how I can get a hold of him because I did not actually get his information, let me know. But he was an OB in Chicago, he talked about how his friend that he would cover for that was trained in hypnosis, that these women would come in and they’d have their babies and that was it, and it was just so simple. And then he came back, worked at Mayo and did clinical OB or Gynecology where they did like pelvic floor rehab and treated women two to three times a day for three to five days to reduce pelvic myalgia, like severe pain. And then volunteered at Planned Parenthood, and I was like, “If only we could get more birth workers like that, that are so connected to the way that we’re actually supposed to birth.” But you look at the history and it’s like shit, it’s a business, here we are but we’re cleaning it up, yeah.
Lindsey: Yeah, we’re cleaning up the mess.
What do you think about the birth history? Do you think it’s relevant in our seminars?
Mel: Yeah, 100%. Especially because we’re trained to change that collective consciousness of birth, and you have to know where you’ve been to know like where you are and where you want to go.
Lindsey: Where you got to go.
Mel: Yeah. So it’s crazy to me to look at these seemingly small influences that have just completely turned the tides of culture. Like you get like one guy, Joseph DeLee, to say it’s amazing that women make it out of birth alive, it’s considered a pathology, and like how that completely transformed, like just one guy’s opinion transformed everything. But also kind of inspiring in the fact that like one small group like us.
Lindsey: One small/future huge BIRTHFIT movement can change, influence the tides, yeah. So on that note, what do you see for BIRTHFIT in the future? What are your goals for BIRTHFIT?
Mel: To be a household thing, like everyone has heard about it.
Lindsey: Everybody knows my goals, what are your goals?
Mel: My goals for BIRTHFIT? Oh, damn.
Lindsey: No, that’s good, household name.
Mel: Household name, yeah.
Erica: [0:16:37] [Indiscernible].
Mel: Yeah. Are you kicking off your cowboy boots right now? No, no. No, those stay on no matter what. Yeah, okay, so household name that at least one person on every single gym in the United States knows what the functional progression is and why to use it, like where and how to use it. And/or they just incorporate it throughout all their classes, in their movement practice.
Lindsey: So many gyms are incorporating it now, like especially after they’ve gone to our seminar, it’s really rad to see them change their on-ramp/intro sessions. Fuck, yeah.
Mel: Actually, so Karianne today mentioned that she’s like, “The stuff just makes sense for humans.” Yeah, you got it.
Lindsey: Nailed it.
Mel: That was a secret. Us humans, we all have cores and pelvic floors, and/or just cores because the pelvic floor is part of the core.
Lindsey: Yeah. What about you?
Erica: As much as I am a huge component for the postpartum period, I totally love to see what’s happening within our own community as far as like women truly becoming educated in the forum. It’s so much more than just having a baby and checking the box, that like marriage, check, baby, check. We did things in the opposite direction.
Mel: So did I.
Erica: Like seriously, just options and education, and yeah, the functional progression and all the core stuff. It’s hard to even answer that question because there’s so much potential for change, like take a step back and realize the impact that that’s having on other generations is pretty sweet. I mean, realistically, like the babies hospitals that have this whole baby safe campaign and they label themselves as baby safe, it’s kind of like what the hell were you before. But like anything, like a gym, hospital, birth center, midwife, like BIRTHFIT, BIRTHFIT center, BIRTHFIT hospital, BIRTHFIT whatever, like we have to be holding ourselves to these standards across the board.
Lindsey: That’s legit.
Erica: So just changing humans, for sure.
Lindsey: Yeah. I see it like a trusted brand that people turn to, like oh, shit, I just peed on a stick. I’m pregnant. BIRTHFIT. Like that’s where I go, that’s where I go to find my care provider, that’s where I go to find my coach, that’s where I go to find my regional director, that’s where I go to do the online programming, that’s where I go to find the podcast, whatever, whatever, because that’s the brand that’s known and trusted.
Erica: That’s where I go to come as I am judgment-free and get like true information, empowerment, support, tribe.
Lindsey: Heck, yeah, #tribe, BIRTHFIT tribe, awesome. So we’re 15 minutes in to this podcast.
Erica: Is that all?
Lindsey: Yup. Our friends over at Girls Gone WOD posted about the Would You Rather game, and I don’t know if anybody remembers this game in college. No, no, no, would you rather. I’m not sure what they’re referring to right now because I tried to click on their Insta Stories and I couldn’t see anything that Claire was doing.
Erica: There’s a rocket ship and that could mean many things.
Lindsey: Yeah, and the internet is not really working too good here where we’re at in the middle of nowhere.
Erica: Well, yeah, we do. Also, I would just like to point out that Mel and I came up with let’s do the Would You Rather thing at the same time Girls Gone WOD did, so the universe is all so connected.
Lindsey: Oh, here we go. So their first question is: Would you rather wake up tomorrow and be fluent in — oh, these are clean.
Lindsey: So BIRTHFIT always involves sex.
Erica: FY in your eye.
Lindsey: So would you rather wake up tomorrow and be fluent in a new language in bed or be able to play a new instrument in bed?
Erica: New instrument, for sure.
Mel: Big words, for sure.
Lindsey: Language wins on their game.
Erica: It does. Instrument, guitar, naked in bed. Hands down, sold.
Lindsey: Would you rather — these are good starters — they’re clean.
Mel: I would not wear panties to bed.
Lindsey: Next question, would you rather win the CrossFit games or coach an athlete who wins the CrossFit games? I would rather win the CrossFit games.
Erica: Yeah, I would too.
Mel: We’re doers.
Lindsey: We’re doers. All right, next question.
Erica: I would coach you for sure.
Mel: Okay. This is all on Girls Gone WOD. Would you rather never be able to travel again or never live in the same place for more than one week?
Mel: That’s a good one.
Lindsey: Never stay in the same place once.
Erica: Yeah, I think that would be me too, because it was like I think it was a year ago I asked Kyle if we could sell everything and go off the grid and buy an RV and he’s like, “Whoa! Let’s just add a little more travel in your life,” and then guess what?
Lindsey: Here we go.
Erica: Here we are.
Lindsey: BIRTHFIT tours.
Erica: Thank you, universe.
Lindsey: What would you do, live in the same place or never live in the same place for more than one week?
Mel: Oh, man, I probably would travel, to be honest. The internet is shit in Wisconsin, I’d never be able to see you guys, but I would travel with my family. Is that included?
Lindsey: Okay, maybe.
Erica: I hope so.
Mel: It better be.
Lindsey: Ooh, this one is terrible. Would you rather do 1000 burpees or run a marathon?
Erica: Run a marathon.
Lindsey: I was going to say burpees too.
Mel: Wait, is there a time limit?
Lindsey: It’s 50-50.
Mel: We used to dole out punishment to our children in burpees, and Oliver, I’m not shitting you, had 700 to do on a Saturday at some point. So I looked at him and I’m like, “Ah, I could do a thousand.”
Lindsey: Oh, my God.
Mel: Seven-year old compared to a thousand at our age.
Lindsey: It’s so true.
Erica: Yeah, because we used do like time yourself how many burpees can you do or how long does it take you to do a hundred burpees.
Lindsey: At least seven minutes. Did you ever do the CrossFit open workout seven minutes of burpees? I did 106 burpees in that.
Mel: Are you kidding me? I beat you by one. That was my first open workout ever. I did 107 and then I repeated it and I got 107.
Lindsey: Ah, why would you repeat it?
Mel: Because I thought I could get like one more.
Erica: We used to do it all the time, Kyle and I. There’s a video of us having a competition when we first opened our practice, like we would do as many burpees as there were likes and then compete for time. So maybe I would rather do the hundred burpees, I don’t know, marathon.
Mel: A thousand.
Erica: A thousand shit.
Lindsey: Erica just likes running.
Erica: I did.
Mel: I like running fast for a really, really short period of time.
Erica: You’re a gazelle.
Erica: If I had legs like that I’d run real fast too.
Lindsey: All right, would you rather. Nope, there’s not another one so we’re going to take it to the BIRTHFIT world.
Erica: They forgot to add, in bed, or marathon in bed and then hands-down I’m doing a marathon.
Lindsey: That doesn’t make any sense. A sex marathon, okay.
Mel: How doesn’t that make sense?
Lindsey: Well, you can’t compare it to a burpee marathon, a burpee sex marathon.
Mel: That’s weird.
Mel: Okay, so a BIRTHFIT would you rather. Would you rather be pregnant for twice as long or have four babies at once, or an 18-month pregnancy?
Erica: I liked being pregnant, you could still sleep when you’re pregnant, most of the time. Four babies, like four infants, to take care of at one time.
Mel: I was thinking it because twins, they happen more regularly than quadruplets happen. Yeah, okay, that wasn’t a good Would You Rather.
Lindsey: It was great. I don’t know because I’ve never experienced either, so I would think having four come out at once would probably be better than being pregnant for 18 months. I don’t know. Twins run in the family so I’m kind of comfortable with that idea.
Mel: Boland thinks she [0:27:45] [Indiscernible] inappropriate for this game. Mathews, do you have any Would You Rathers?
Lindsey: I don’t know. Would you rather shit all during all labor or throw up all during labor? I’ve seen this happen. You’ve both been there so what would you rather do?
Erica: That was like you last weekend.
Lindsey: It was coming out of both ends last week for me, for sure. But I would like to close up one hole during labor.
Erica: I would say I would rather shit during labor because puking is fucking awful. I puked all during Terryn’s labor.
Lindsey: Do you hate puking?
Erica: I hate puking and I hate puke. I don’t do puke.
Lindsey: I don’t mind puking.
Erica: I hate puking. It feels like it’s never going to end.
Lindsey: I hate puking and shitting at the same time.
Erica: I got you a bucket. I mommed you.
Lindsey: Yeah, you did, thank you. What about you, Mel?
Mel: Yes. I can’t breathe and I always blow blood vessels in my eyes when I throw up so I would rather shit the entire time.
Mel: Yeah. It’s got to stop. Like you can dry heave constantly but the shit does eventually does stop. That’s my hope.
Erica: You’ve only got it so much. And if you’re shitting literally all during labor, then that means you’ll labor at fast. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s less intense, might be more intense. This is all about birth education, folks.
Lindsey: You got another one?
Mel: I’m trying to think of like a postpartum one.
Lindsey: Would you rather bleed for six weeks or have urinary incontinence for three months?
Mel: I know, six weeks is like pretty average.
Lindsey: But every single day till the six-week mark at least.
Mel: I’m sorry. I want to say I bled for like three to four weeks, or urinary incontinence.
Lindsey: Urinary incontinence for like three months, then it heals all of a sudden during the functional progression.
Mel: That’s also pretty accurate.
Lindsey: One or the other, that’s what you get.
Mel: I get both apparently. Which would I rather have gone first? Probably the bleeding.
Erica: Samesies, because the thought of urinary incontinence isn’t really appealing and I’m not really going to be all about having sex that soon anyway. So whatever. I think I had bleeding for like four to six weeks after, anyway.
Lindsey: Each one?
Erica: I don’t think I did with Maclin maybe because I slowed down a fucking bit. But the other ones, yeah.
Lindsey: Slow is fast.
Erica: Slow is real fast, yeah.
Mel: Okay. Would you rather have a completely euphoric birth or a baby who sleeps through the night right away?
Lindsey: Euphoric birth.
Erica: Is that like orgasmic birth?
Lindsey: I would love to have an orgasmic birth and videotape that shit.
Mel: For the YouTubes.
Lindsey: Kim Kardashian, watch out.
Erica: It is. Terryn slept through the night from a week-old and I don’t remember what that means.
Lindsey: Yeah, how long is the sleep deprivation?
Erica: Oh, my God, Maclin’s sleep deprivation was for like over 18 months because I didn’t sleep through the night for the last bit of pregnancy and then he didn’t sleep through the night till he was 18 months old. So I like sleep now.
Mel: Yeah. My kids apparently will only sleep through the night when I’m gone. I left for six weeks of training and like right around the time that Hank turned one and that’s the first time that he started sleeping through the night. He’s like “Oh, Dad, I love you so much.” Just wait till Mom comes back, it will all be back.
Erica: How does that even work? How do the dads to this?
Mel: I hear dads are magic, no. I don’t know. Yeah. So #BIRTHFIT dads, if you have any hints on how you get kids to do stuff like that, like sleep through the night for you, just let us know. We’re all ears.
Erica: Speaking of BIRTHFIT dads, [0:33:38] [Indiscernible].
Mel: Adab and KB.
Erica: Does Adab have any [0:33:48] [Indiscernible]?
Mel: He does not. He doesn’t have a single tattoo actually. Anthony doesn’t have a single tattoo.
Lindsey: Anthony, right back at you.
Mel: Actually, sitting here with our better halves, the Mel and the EB with fresh tats, fresh out the blocks.
Lindsey: Erica got a new tattoo, that’s what she’s saying.
Erica: I got a new tattoo; Mel got a new tattoo one week after me. We didn’t even know they were scheduled.
Mel: And Marissa, from the seminar.
Erica: Has a dove and a sweet pea flower tattooed on her which are basically our tattoos. She didn’t know she’s best friends with us.
Lindsey: Whoa, yeah. You’re all are totally quiet right now and they were not quiet 20 minutes ago.
Erica: Why don’t you give us your sales pitch, Mel, for those listeners that want to know more about BIRTHFIT programming and BIRTHFIT pillars? Give us your sales pitch.
Mel: It was pretty funny. So we met some gents at the bar where we also ate some food and they asked us, “So, is this polaroid camera your business?” and I was like, “Fuck, no. Actually we do a lot of things but particularly right now, this weekend, we’re working with coaches in helping them support their athletes with the motherhood transition.” And he wanted to guess what the four pillars were and he even had little images to help him guess and he couldn’t get in.
Lindsey: Jesus, what world is he living in?
Mel: I don’t know. But you know what’s really funny, he was like okay, fitness, nutrition, mindset, those all work together but chiropractic is way out of the picture. He’s like it doesn’t fit, and I was like “Then you don’t know BIRTHFIT.” Yeah, so he thought I was the marketing person which is like if you know anything about me you know that’s not my strength. Pretty much the furthest thing until you’ve had a gin and tonic or two, nectars of the gods.
Lindsey: Would you rather see Jack Johnson in concert or Ben Harper?
Erica: Jack, he’s so special to my heart.
Lindsey: I’m totally changing the subject because they’re going off the deep end over here.
Mel: Are we going off the deep end? I’m sorry, okay. Well, we all know that you’re madly in love with Ben Harper and Boland is madly in love with Jack Johnson, a.k.a. KB, Kyle Boland.
Erica: Yeah, Kyle, if you’re listening, Mel told me tonight that she thinks that you look like Jack Johnson and that was some major brownie points your way.
Mel: Right, like if you shaved. Do you see it? I feel like I see it.
Erica: Yes! Abso-freaking-lutely.
Lindsey: So what’s your answer, Jack Johnson or Ben Harper?
Mel: I think because Ben’s songs are so sad, I’d go with Jack.
Mel: Yeah. Doesn’t he have like Brick? Is that what that was called?
Mel: Like he’s drowning slowly?
Mel: Who sang that song?
Lindsey: Not him.
Mel: No, I swear. It’s like about miscarriage or something, doesn’t he have a song?
Lindsey: I’m going to play you a Ben Harper song. I don’t know what world Mel has been living in but…
Erica: Jack Johnson is the answer to that question.
Mel: I’m a something and I’m drowning slowly, right?
Lindsey: Yeah, not it.
Mel: That’s Ben Harper, I swear it’s Ben Harper.
Lindsey: No. No, I got to give Mel a freaking Ben Harper song.
Mel: I’m telling you his songs are depressing.
Erica: Bathe in patchouli or smoke a palo santo stick? They both sound so great.
Lindsey: They sound great, Jesus.
Erica: Patchouli and I have a bad experience in telesummit.
Erica: He’s good, too, but Jack Johnson is just so special to my heart. Hawaiian, even better. Yeah, he’s from Hawaii. She’s dancing right now. Sing it, girl.
Lindsey: We used to sneak in to Ben Harper.
Erica: More BIRTHFIT, do you think we could get him shout out, like “Jack and Ben, Austin, June 2018. See you there.”
Lindsey: Maybe. Ryan Bingham, we’ll see you there, too. Ryan Bingham is like my one get out of jail free card.
Mel: Does that mean the one person that Logan will let you have sex with?
Lindsey: I think so.
Erica: You got the permission, huh?
Lindsey: Yeah. This is my favorite Ryan Bingham cover. Who would be your one get out of jail free card?
Erica: That escalated really quickly.
Lindsey: We’re here now and the battery is going to cut low soon so you got to answer.
Erica: I’m going to have to sit, like are you asking for me?
Mel: Yeah, or who would you give Kyle permission and then who would you ask permission for?
Erica: I guess I would ask permission for Jack Johnson.
Lindsey: Jesus, you do love Jack Johnson.
Erica: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about this. Who would I give Kyle permission?
Lindsey: I don’t know who I’d give Logan permission, there’s not anybody that cool out there. I might give Logan permission for Mel. He does like Mel.
Mel: Oh, my gosh!
Erica: That escalated really quickly.
Lindsey: But I don’t know if that will be his choice.
Mel: Yeah, [0:41:05] [Indiscernible] just so you know.
Lindsey: We’re going full circle.
Erica: I haven’t been hit on by a white man in like so long.
Lindsey: Me neither, till Logan.
Erica: Oh, it was so great, that’s so great.
Lindsey: Who would be your get out of jail free?
Mel: For Anthony?
Lindsey: No, for you.
Mel: I’m not signing the permission slip?
Lindsey: No, like you would wish that you would ask for the permission. It can be anybody.
Erica: It can be me, Mel. It’s okay to say out loud.
Mel: Can I say Erica Boland?
Lindsey: You want Erica to be your get out of jail free card? You want to have sex with Erica?
Mel: Oh, my gosh. Do you remember Tyler from like OG BIRTHFIT podcast?
Lindsey: Yeah, the co-host that we kicked off? Yes.
Mel: Yeah, that guy.
Erica: That would be your get out of jail card?
Mel: No, no.
Lindsey: Please say no.
Mel: No, no, no. He didn’t friend me on Instagram or whatever. I think I requested and he denied me. That’s okay. But he did call you a dime piece, Erica.
Lindsey: Oh, he did, yeah.
Mel: I did not ever see this man, but he thinks you’re gorgeous and I think most people think you’re gorgeous too, so yeah, let’s go.
Lindsey: So you want to go the other route, you want to go female get out of jail free card?
Mel: Let’s do it. And guess what, we’re getting together in December with our husbands.
Lindsey: So there could be a BIRTHFIT orgy?
Mel: It’s going to be a big BIRTHFIT orgy in Colorado.
Lindsey: Oh, my God, we’ll report back after that.
Mel: I can’t breathe. I got to sleep with her tonight and last night she tried straddling me with no panties on. She threatened.
Lindsey: That’s interesting. I see where we’re going with this.
Mel: I’m crying.
Lindsey: Okay. So that’s your get out of jail free card.
Mel: I don’t know. I have to think about it.
Erica: Are you sure you don’t want to redo?
Lindsey: Yeah, like Steph Curry, anybody like that?
Erica: Steph Curry, Canon has been him for Halloween.
Mel: That’s pretty cute.
Lindsey: Matthew McConaughey, that’s my second one. No, not Steph, nothing against Steph but…
Erica: Gymnastics Chris.
Lindsey: Chris with tats on his face that coaches at DEUCE?
Erica: That’s the one, the one we did a [0:44:04] [Indiscernible].
Lindsey: Yeah, sure, that’s something crazy. I don’t know why I’m thinking about all these DEUCE people, but Josh who’s got all the hair. I don’t know why. And he just comes up on Instagram. He’s very prolific on Instagram so it just came to mind.
Mel: I thought you liked black people. What’s going on here?
Lindsey: I really like black men. What about somebody like Denzel Washington? Sexy is old. Jamie Foxx. Okay, get out of jail right now.
Mel: Jamie Foxx, yeah, that’s fucking genius. Because that would be like the greatest pillow talk of all time — no offense, Anthony — but that would be the greatest pillow talk. No offense. We’re working on pillow talk.
Lindsey: What does pillow talk even mean?
Mel: Yeah, post-coitus, like lay in the nook and you just talk about sweet nothings. Yeah, Jamie Foxx would be a fucking phenomenal storyteller.
Lindsey: That’s a good one. I’ll give you that one. My get out of jail free card would probably be Matthew McConaughey or Ryan Bingham. Somebody that’s just Texas as fuck.
Erica: And what did you say for Logan? Oh, Mel, that’s right.
Lindsey: I don’t know who Mel’s is. Jamie Foxx. I don’t know who Logan’s would be. I would want it to be somebody dope as fuck and Mel is pretty dope.
Mel: So Anthony’s would be Katy Perry. Really 100%. In fact, this was like back when I was in college and really insecure, but I was like so jealous of her because he thought she was like so beautiful and talented. When I was totally in my princess, yeah.
Lindsey: Has your get out of jail free card person evolved over time? Has he been yours the whole time?
Erica: Jack Johnson, for sure.
Lindsey: Has he been yours the whole time?
Erica: No, I used to be in love with Josh Hartnett. Then he found that girlfriend and then [0:47:14] [Indiscernible].
Lindsey: Erika Christensen.
Erica: Maybe even his wife now, I’m not sure. I didn’t follow him. I had a really big crush on Kobe Bryant.
Lindsey: You had a crush on Kobe Bryant?
Erica: Kobe Bryant and Josh Hartnett, yeah, for sure. But Kobe Bryant I even had a poster of him in my closet, how scary creepy is that.
Mel: Has yours evolved?
Lindsey: I don’t know. I used to have a big crush on Dwight Howard, his shoulders. But then he became like such a pansy, like a basketball player, I just got over it real quick. Oh, David Beckham.
Mel: Is he short?
Lindsey: Yeah, he’s like my height, a little bit taller. He’s taller than me so that’s good.
Mel: Well, it’s not that hard.
Mel: So I had [0:48:42] [Indiscernible]? Okay. So like my crush was totally Steve Prefontaine back in high school, but he was not alive at the time, so that crush was a just a little bit awkward. And also was madly in love with Troy Polamalu from the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Erica: Whoa, that’s a lot.
Mel: That’s a lot of hair, yeah, but a lot of freaking talent. He’s crazy, in one package. He actually like strength-trained, like really functionally, like barefoot and all kinds of stuff. He was just a heck of an athlete. Gorgeous hair.
Lindsey: So the hair and the barefoot training turned you on?
Erica: That’s why you want to sleep with me. It’s my hair and my barefoot.
Lindsey: All right, before we wrap up, do you got any more pillow talk girl questions Would You Rather, before we wrap up the final episode?
Mel: [0:49:52] [Indiscernible]?
Erica: Well, you learned a lot last night at dinner so would you rather have low back pain during sex or orgasm during exercise?
Lindsey: Erica just asked would you rather have back pain during sex or orgasm during exercise. I would rather orgasm every time I worked out which has happened to me with certain movements.
Mel: My first orgasm was during workouts. I’m not kidding you.
Erica: It, for the first time, happened to me postpartum with Maclin and I was like, “What is wrong with me?”
Mel: So this is super common then.
Mel: I like legitimately talked to Mumma about it because like apparently I can’t do overhead squats because that leads to orgasm and that’s awkward.
Erica: Why not enjoy it?
Mel: Well, thankfully I’m in the garage by myself so I could but– and then program overhead squats every single day. Those were like my first orgasms was during workouts.
Erica: First orgasm ever?
Mel: Yeah, ever. And then like further down the road of having sex was like oh, that’s the thing that happens during workouts.
Lindsey: So Mel’s first orgasms were during exercise.
Erica: Can I ask what position?
Lindsey: Yeah, because apparently the research has showed that it’s different positions for everybody.
Mel: Yeah. So it’s repeatable for me in pull-up negatives. And here’s like the shitty part about it, I got real good at pull-ups, but it would take longer and longer for me to like get at that point because I start doing it all the time because it felt really good and I was like, I don’t know what this is but I like it. Yeah, so I would be doing like a freaking pull-up negative for like two minutes and then orgasm.
Erica: That’s extra strong.
Lindsey: I forget which movement, I think it was something like V-ups or something for me, which I fucking hate V-ups, but if I’m going to orgasm, yeah. Dude, I love overhead squats but never got an orgasm doing them. That’s one way, yeah. So if you’re listening, have you ever orgasmed during certain movements?
Erica: So there’s legitimate out of what lab was it, Canada, McGill’s lab, wasn’t it? Stuart McGill’s lab out of Canada, on like low back pain during sex but also orgasm during exercise, that’s apparently really a common thing that nobody talks about.
Lindsey: Yeah. I’ve had a conversation where I’d had a number of conversations with midwife Elizabeth Bachner. My vagina is magical. She has theories that depending on where women are stimulated and depending on what part of their clitoris, certain women are more prone to orgasms during birth. So like if you are a front-stimulated clitoris orgasm person, you might be able to stimulate yourself during birth and have an orgasm.
Erica: That’s interesting because I wonder, like stimulate yourself, like if your body naturally is just stimulated by the birth process or like physically stimulate yourself to help with the birth process?
Lindsey: I think you got to physically stimulated yourself because I’ve seen orgasm happen during birth and this woman had to help herself.
Mel: So she had the wherewithal to.
Lindsey: She touched herself, yeah.
Erica: Mel, if you ever have babies and Lindsey, if you ever have babies, more babies or babies at all, try it and let us know how that goes because my supply is done.
Mel: Will you be my doula?
Erica: Yes. All of it just came together but I’m not going to stimulate you for you during your birth. Never have I ever stimulated a doula client for herself during birth. It’s probably somewhere in my contract, or it will be.
Lindsey: There’s a first time for everything. Damn. So try it out, stimulate yourself.
Erica: Get back to us.
Lindsey: Yeah, get back to us.
Erica: What did you say? Oh, Lane’s podcast.
Lane’s podcast was super awesome so by the time you listen to this you will have listened to Lane Gauntt of BIRTHFIT Volusia in Florida. One of the things that I really loved that she talked about was touching herself postpartum and being able to stimulate herself postpartum. And if she was not comfortable touching herself and stimulating herself she didn’t feel like it was the right time for sex, which makes so much sense. Like if you can’t touch yourself and talk about the pressure touching yourself, if you don’t know that, how can you communicate that to somebody? That’s kind of fucking brilliant.
Mel: Yeah, I love Lane. That was awesome.
Lindsey: Yeah. Anything you want to add to wrap up this random ass podcast?
Erica: No pun intended.
Lindsey: Another would you rather question to finish it off with?
Erica: I had the last one that led to a whole tangent of conversations. Anybody else got anything? Would you rather orgasm in exercise or back pain during sex?
Lindsey: I would not want to have back pain during sex.
Erica: Me neither.
Lindsey: I would want to orgasm every time I did fucking pull-up negatives. I want to eat a lollipop. Oh, my God. Well, on that note we’re going to wrap up.
Mel: I do have a question, tying it back to the coach seminar since that’s why we’re here. What are you excited about for tomorrow, the final day of the final seminar?
Lindsey: What I really like on the final day is the mindset stuff because that just blows people out of the water and Mel, your delivery on that is fucking swish.
Lindsey: I do like programming and I do like talking about that with people because I think it brings awareness and intentionality to programming and to thinking about recovery days and thinking about 40 weeks is not that long for training and we are literally training for birth. And I think the programming offers them a practical way to take that back to their gym but I think the mindset piece is so freaking key.
Mel: Yeah. The goal is for them to see any window of possibility into their own life and to like let this seminar continue after Sunday which is pretty cool.
Lindsey: Yeah, that’s good.
Mel: That’s the sound of glasses being pushed up if you’re curious.
Lindsey: This is for all the people that do CrossFit, would you rather, Rich Froning or Mat Fraser?
Mel: That’s a good one.
Lindsey: Every lady that does CrossFit knows this too.
Mel: This is true. Which one’s taller? It’s terrible. So I really am not shitting you, I had this thing called the test, it was pretty cleverly named, and the test was if I could run up and jump on said man completely unawares of me jumping on them. Would they fall over or would they be able to support me, and if they would fall over I was in fact too large for them.
Lindsey: I think both of them can probably support you.
Mel: I’m kind of a big woman.
Lindsey: I’m going to guess they’re both about the same height since they do CrossFit–
Mel: They’re probably like 5’7″. They’re probably shorter than me. I know. We’re over here like Twin Towers except for when you’re Embo and who’s the other girl at DEUCE?
Mel: That’s actual Twin Towers.
Erica: How tall is Karis?
Lindsey: They’re both like 6’1″.
Mel: If I could be any height I’d be 6 foot.
Lindsey: How tall are you?
Lindsey: Well, you got to answer, Rich Froning or Mat Fraser?
Mel: I’m not 5’7″, my mom’s like 5’7″. Okay, but I need data, who’s taller?
Lindsey: I’m going to guess they’re both between 5’7″ and 5’10”.
Mel: They’re not 5’10”.
Lindsey: Well, you got to answer. Oh, I got another good one too, you got to answer this one.
Mel: I guess I would go with Rich.
Lindsey: I’d go with Fraser.
Mel: Would you?
Lindsey: All right, Snoop Dogg or Lil Wayne?
Erica: Oh, my gosh, whoa.
Mel: What? I can’t even.
Lindsey: Yes, you can.
Mel: You go first.
Lindsey: Lil Wayne.
Lindsey: Because I freaking love Lil Wayne, I think he’s so obnoxious and I love it.
Mel: Yeah. I guess I find them both a little bit obnoxious. They are. I guess I’ll stick with Jamie Foxx.
Lindsey: No, that is not A or B, that is like D, none of the above.
Erica: I don’t think I could take Snoop Dogg seriously.
Mel: You can take Lil Wayne seriously?
Erica: I don’t know.
Lindsey: Got to answer.
Erica: I’m going to have with, I’ll play devil’s advocate and go with Snoop Dogg on this one.
Mel: Because if I had to choose it would probably be Snoop. D-o-g-g.
Lindsey: Yeah, Snoop’s great. See if I have any more, I don’t have any more good ones right now off the top of my head. I was trying to get creative power there.
Erica: Oh, yeah, I can use my creative power this week again.
Lindsey: Yeah, because it’s off the period week.
Mel: Oh, nice.
Lindsey: That will come for me next week.
Mel: I think I’m task oriented right now. That’s probably my least productive week. It’s making a bunch of lists but not actually getting anything done. No, I’m kidding. Actually I did get a lot done before I came out. Got the house picked up.
Lindsey: If you could be one person who would you rather be, or in their shoes for a day, Beyoncé or Madonna?
Lindsey: Me, too.
Erica: For sure.
Lindsey: Queen B.
Mel: Yeah. It’s like queen, like BIRTHFIT Queen B!
Lindsey: Absolutely, she knows what’s up.
Mel: Would you rather have your body found in a pile of sex toys or have everyone you know see your browsing history? The browsing history because it will be all like fucking Google Scholar. It’s like “Wow, she actually studied and I did nothing.” I was like what’s she doing with the pelvic floor.
Lindsey: That’s hilarious.
Mel: It’s ridiculous. And also Note Trainer, to learn like piano music. I realize I actually don’t visit very many websites.
Lindsey: That might be all we have, folks.
Erica: This is for all the Wisconsinites out there. Would you rather give up cheese or give up oral sex? It’s a legitimate question on BuzzFeed.
Mel: That is awesome.
Lindsey: I don’t even know how to answer that.
Erica: Cheese, for sure.
Mel: Cheese versus oral sex. Cheese curds, deep fried cheese curds?
Mel: You would give those up?
Erica: They’re done, I gave them up already.
Mel: Aww. Well, that’s not a very fair question then. Okay, yeah, oral sex is pretty great. Oh, my gosh, would you rather have taste buds on your bum or poop through your mouth?
Lindsey: How’s that even possible?
Mel: That’s really bad. Not bad but hard. How do you choose?
Lindsey: Okay. I think this has taken a turn for the worse.
Lindsey: We’re going to go now. Erica is lost in the deep end over there.
Mel: Can we do this one?
Erica: No, this is horrendous.
Lindsey: It’s time to go to bed.
Erica: Good night.
Lindsey: All right. Where can people find you, Mel? Do they even want to know?
Mel: Colorado Springs in BIRTHFIT Colorado. So @BIRTHFITColorado, birthfitcolorado.com, you can find me on those places.
Erica: BIRTHFIT Wisconsin on the Instagram, BIRTHFIT Wisconsin on the Facebook, birthfitwisconsin.com.
Lindsey: Awesome! I’m Lindsey Mathews, you can find me via @birthfit or @gigemlindsey. And all of our seminars will be announced for 2018 as soon as possible, hopefully after this episode. Would you rather come to a BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar or not? Hopefully yes.
Mel: BIRTHFIT Coach or BIRTHFIT Seminar, only choices.
Lindsey: Yeah. BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar for Houston and San Francisco are up, BIRTHFIT Professional Seminars will be announced and more to come. So be sure you’re signed up for our newsletter, be sure you are subscribing to our podcast, be sure to go and rate us on iTunes. That really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really helps us, so yeah, do that. And we will see you at a seminar soon.
Well, well, well, I hope you enjoyed those shenanigans from the three of us in our lovely hotel room in Chicago. Yeah, that was the last seminar, the BIRTHFIT Coach Seminar for 2017 and this is the last podcast and we are signing off and we’ll be back in 2018. So reminders, see you at the seminars, sign up now, prices go up January 1st, and we cannot wait to share space, meet all of you and change the world for the better one day at a time.
And one more little announcement, if you would be a doll and share our episodes on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, whatever you got, and leave us a beautiful review, that would be a wonderful holiday gift for us. Much love, thank you for listening, and we will see you in 2018.
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